Ultimate Fear Realized

It’s ironic that my last post had to do with my fears. I can’t believe I overlooked my worst fear, especially because of what just happened.

I got a phone call tonight from one of my dear friends from my BYU dorm days. We have all stayed close: reunited for every wedding and major event. Unfortunately the next time we will all be together will be for the worst reason there could possibly be: one of my friend’s husband was just killed in a car accident.

I am so sick inside. And fear is not really a good way to describe it. It is an ultimate, deep and surprising sadness.

This isn’t the way her life was meant to be! She was the first of all of us to get married and start a family. She is just 28 with 3 sons and a daughter born last spring. Her oldest is just 7. They are such a beautiful family. They had plans. They have so much growing to do as a family…all of their beautiful, wonderful children. They are not supposed to grow up not remembering their dad.

He was such a cool guy…someone you admire and want to be friends with. He had his MBA and his career was really going places. He was the kind of person whose personality “sparkled” and oozed with the Spirit. He made you feel happy and good, even if you didn’t know him very well.

She is the ultimate fun mom with boundless energy, and 100% devoted to her kids. She is the cool stay-at-home mom with the kind of attitude I have always admired: she doesn’t try to cover how hard it can be, but is also the first to rejoice in the small things that make you laugh as a mom. She is smart and kind and open. But, how…oh, how?.... will she deal with the loss of her husband…her best friend…her #1 cheerleader?

She married very young. She has never really been alone, and I hate to think of her that way now. And with a little baby still to nurse and take care of… No one is supposed to do this alone…

What would I do? What can I do for her? I will be there for her in the background…one of many, many who love their family…as a strong backdrop of love and support. I pray for her. I pray for those sweet young children, that they will remember him and not feel too much pain now. Please, if you are reading…pray for them, too. It could have been any of us.

It is so easy for me to forget how fragile our lives are; that our time is so short, and relationships mean everything: relationships with our family, our friends, but especially with our Savior. I wish I hadn’t needed a jolt such as this one to make me remember that.