I've decided that prayer is like magic. I hope that isn't sacrilegious. But, do you know what I mean? And for me, running is a bit like magic, too.
School doesn't start until after Labor day for us here in Oregon. I feel like I've been hanging onto my sanity by a very thin thread these last few weeks. It is as if I have forgotten every good parenting skill I have ever learned. Tuesday was a particularly difficult day for some reason. At the end of the day I felt like every single thing I had said to my kids had been negative and bordering on "mean". What has happened to me? Where was all of my "positive parenting"?
I went for a run after the kids were in bed. I felt like punching something. Mostly myself. Taylor was running a nice, leisurely pace with me, but I felt like I needed to run all the negative "blahs" out of my soul. He told me to go ahead and we'd meet up. I picked up my pace, thinking I'd run good and hard just until I got to the YMCA driveway. But when I reached the driveway I wasn't done. I kept going. I felt like I was running at break-neck speeds. Turns out it was something like an 8-minute mile pace, but I felt like I was flying. My gait has been slow and steady since Joe was born, but with this burst of speed I felt like I was breaking free! I sprinted up the rest of that hill thinking I'd need to slow when I got to the top, but the gentle downhill on the other side urged me forward, faster and faster. I prayed with each strike on the pavement and with each gasp for breath, "What is wrong with me? Take this negative spirit out of my soul and please replace it with a Mother's Heart." (I had been thinking a lot about my sister's recent post, too. And the video she shared.) After 2 miles I finally felt like I had sweat and gasped the negative vibes right out of myself. Endorphins are great, and so is prayer.
As I slowed and power-walked up the steep hill to our home an idea came to mind. What if I were to eliminate one word from my vocabulary when speaking to me kids? Was it even possible? Could I go an entire day without saying the word "Don't"? It sounded like an intriguing experiment.
On Wednesday I failed miserably. It was alarming to realize how quickly the word jumped out of my mouth from sun-up to sun-down.
"Don't do that!"
"Don't touch that!"
"Don't hurt your brother!"
"Don't get into the refrigerator!"
"Don't, Don't, Don't!!!"
Yesterday was a little better. But not much. Today I've already slipped a few times. But it is amazing the difference it is making. I can feel my kids relaxing, and my own shoulders aren't up over my ears.
One little word was the answer to my prayer. "Don't say don't." (OK, maybe it was three words.) And the results are like magic. Magic is the wrong word, I know. This answer to prayer is a tender mercy from the Lord. I am so grateful. And my kids are even more so, I am sure.
School starts in 1o days! We are going to make it!
Parenting: Touching the Hearts of Our Youth
11 comments:
You're doing a great job Sarah. I know it doesn't always feel that way. But you aree. I was just watching some "mormon messages" today as well and the one by Holland about mothers had me crying like a baby. That was an answer to a prayer.
And yes, running is the best anti-grouch drug for me as well. Lee will often force me out of the house to go on a run.
Keep up the good work.
Like I said, I think you're a good mom. DON'T you wish all the moms in the world were praying at the end of the day for inspiration on their children's behalf? I miss you already, and I'm not quite gone yet. Love you, sweet sister!
I am with you, Sarah, right down to the need to run. With a newborn and the end of summer it seems like everyone is at each other's throats all day long. I am praying constantly for patience, energy, and love. Maybe I'll try your method. Too bad I can't do the 8 minute-mile pace yet. But my 10:30 miles seem fast! Here's to school starting soon!
I feel guilty that Hailey has been there so long. I hope she has been good and not a burden.
And your a great mother. I realy wish I were more like you. :) Maybe you can add me in your prayers...Love you Sarah!
That is so phenomenal. I love that you are that conscientious. That was indeed a miracle and I think I'll try out the advice! Hang in there!
I was just sitting here thinking, "Is it wrong how much I'm LOVING my kids being back in school??" But I choose to believe "NO. It is not wrong. It is just 6 blissful hours of not needing to use the word DON'T, quite so often." Not to mention it's 8 am and I've already worked out, loaded some laundry, organized the white thingy that sits on my counter full of mail and crap.. and am catching up on blogs for heavens sake. What's so WRONG about that?? Not a thang. You're doin' just fine. Happy back-to-school season to you!
Wow, I'm so glad that you turn to the lord and that instead of rewarding yourself for surviving another day with chocolate like I would have been inclined to do you chose to run. I need to learn to like such things but my motivation is lacking. I'm proud of you my wise friend. Thanks for sharing cause I needed it.
Mary, I turn to chocolate plenty of times, too. I would say running would be the exception to the rule. :) But praying goes nicely with either. :)
Seriously, I get sisters that are not only beautiful and really fun to be with, but wise too?! Do you know how badly I wished closer to you so I could be motivated by your motivation? (how do you like that for vast vocabulary?) Your answer to prayer is wise...and inspiring...I think I will pick a word too. PS It's true. Prayer is like magic. It's kind of amazing.
PPS Plus, I really need you to remind me that once upon a time I was capable of running and feeling like I was flying instead of that crazy molasses feeling I get when I try to run now.
Love this story. I definitely have those moments, when I think "Who are you and when did you become such a horrible mother?" I think I'll try your don't experiment.
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