How ya doin'?

There is the question, "How ya doin'?" and then there is the question, "How ARE. you. doing??"

I am asked the former, as everyone is, several times a day. But I have felt pretty rotten the last few days and I feel like everyone is looking deep into my soul and asking, "So, tell me. Really. How are you hanging in there?" when really.... they're just askin' "How ya doin'?"  (Does everyone I talk to drop the 'g' on the end of their words? No.)

Most people don't really want to hear the whole, rotten truth. They just want to be friendly and pass on by. That's cool. In fact, that is pretty normal. But in my brain I have been mentally begging to act like a full grown toddler so I can stomp my feet and scream and tell the world just how unfair it is.

This was taken mid-allergy attack last week.

Today, a friend whom I haven't seen in quite a while probed my soul (unknowingly, bless her heart) and she let me have my little temper tantrum with tears and all. I'm going to make myself seem pretty shallow and petty now by admitting that she has a child who had a brain tumor that may or may not come back at any time. She lives with that haunting, true reality and I'm just mad that we're still unemployed. That just goes to show you how empathetic *she is* and how pathetic *I* am.  But she gave me permission to be mad and I took it. And then she bought me a fresh raspberry shake at Burgerville and she ate the saddest little plain burger patty wrapped in lettuce. Again. She is awesome and strong. I am... going through... stuff.

I've been stomping my feet and crying and acting like a really large toddler all week. I could blame it on "girly issues", if you will.  Yah. So let's go with that. But also, I had a dream that we got a "no" for the job offer we're waiting on. So there's that. Without any promising prospects on the horizon, it makes the immediate future seem .... ugh... I'm at a loss for words. This is where I stomp and cry. It makes the prospect of going on "vacation" (road trips are the antithesis of "vacation" if you ask me) and attending a family reunion... ugh. *foot stomping... WHAAA*. So it is the night before we're supposed to leave and I didn't get the tires on the car rotated like I was supposed to, and I haven't started packing.  Yep. Setting myself up for failure from the get-go. Hold on. I have to go change a load of laundry....

So to any and all who may cross my path tomorrow, or next week, or until further notice... I give you permission to avert your eyes when you see me coming and not ask how I'm doin'.

In other news, and on a lighter note:  It's strawberry season in Oregon!

Alice was in her first musical this week: Blackbeard the Pirate. She was a parrot...with gusto! Yes, that's her.

 And I still live in the most beautiful place on earth. So, that's good.

 My kids aren't in front of screens and/or trying to kill each other ALL the time... (just most of the time).

Waverly continues to be cute and talented.

 Alice pet a mule and was not too excited about it. I don't blame her. It was one of my more lame summer outings.

 I turned 38.

 We helped some friends move in. Well. SOME of us helped.

 The last day of school was properly celebrated.

We re-discovered the "cultural passes" to the various kids' museums and discovery centers. They are awesome! You check out a pass from the library and get in FREE to these great places! Last week we went to the A.C. Gilbert Discovery Village in Salem. 

 Some good friends that we met in our ward in Austin just moved into town! That's great news! They came with us on this particular field trip.

They are great kids (and mom!) and our kids get along so well.

 I finally saw the PDX rose garden in bloom. Spectacular! And thank you, to future Alice, for being willing to pose for pictures when NONE of your siblings will. Those stinkers.

 The cultural pass got us into the Japanese gardens in Portland. I LOVE that place. When I'm a billionaire I will hire gardeners to make my yard look just like it. No. I'll just buy the gardens and build my dream home in the middle of it. 

 Even my younger kids can feel the serenity there. SERENITY NOW!

 Hm. This one is out of place somehow. This is my life. Disorderly, unpredictable, crazy, chaotic, but overall pretty beautiful.

 And this view is a few blocks from my house. So how bad could anything really be anyway?