Meaning, Purpose and Direction

I am standing at the brink of a new phase of my life. I am a very different, and I think much more wise and developed person than the one I was when I last wrote here regularly. My purpose for being here is different than it was. That last sentence is not entirely true, now that I think about it. In the past, I wrote as a form of therapy and to find the meaning, purpose and direction in my daily life. I am back to discover my meaning, purpose and direction again, because this new phase of life requires a pivot. My meaning and purpose have not changed, but the direction and path are not totally clear to me yet. 

Meaning and Purpose in Life: I am a daughter of God and my soul is of infinite worth. I have a mission to fulfill in life. The first phase of my mission was to create my family and start to learn about relationships, love and faith. The second phase is beginning because my children are not little and do not require my full time and emotional attention. I have time and room in body and soul to expand, move around, and discover what can come next. But I don't want it to just "happen" to me. I want it to be deliberate. I want it to be of my own creation. 

Direction in Life: What will this next phase look like? It is exciting to begin again. I feel like this new beginning has something to do with my love of life, beauty, nature, relationships and learning. Right now I feel like the "direction" will look like choosing a course of study for a Master's degree.  I have invested a lot of my time in the last 5 years in contemplating moving into education full time. But that route has seem muddied and unclear. I coach cross country and track at the middle school level. I feel like I make the most difference there for the better in others' lives than anywhere else outside my home. Should I study to become a PE teacher? Would I regret the realities of that in time? But as I've observed friends working on their masters degree in education, I have found myself envious of the courses they are taking and the theories they learn in education as it pertains to human and brain development, and how relationships contribute to that development. I want to learn everything they are learning, but I don't know if I want to be a teacher in the end. I have seen job openings for teachers who are endorsed to teach PE, but who would teach classes on mindfulness to middle or high schoolers. This is infinitely more appealing to me. These classes are new and I don't know enough about what the requirements are for the educators, and what the curriculum would look like. I will look into that. I could start by asking the PE teachers I know in Sherwood, and what they know about the classes. 

Another thought: I have also considered studying to be a therapist. I am incredibly interested in learning what therapists know, but I don't know if I am equally interested in actually doing what therapists do. The science behind relationships and personal improvement are an endless source of fascination, but practically speaking, I don't know if I would want to work with other people's most heavy difficulties in those areas. 

Love of learning: The pattern I am noticing about myself is that I am really interested in learning ABOUT many things, but I am not nearly as interested in the occupations that use the information I'm interested in. I have assumed that means I am not actually that interested in that field of study, but maybe it just means I would be happiest being an eternal student! In actuality, I do, in fact want to work and earn money. So where is the intersection of all of these things?

Mindfulness, Meditation, Prayer and Writing: I have been studying, learning, and practicing a lot about mindfulness and meditation in the last few years. It has helped me develop a more meaningful prayer practice where I feel a greater connection to my Heavenly Parents, and my confidence to ask for their help has really grown. As I've contemplated and prayed about everything I just wrote about, the most clear answer They have given me is that I should start writing regularly again. I think it's because writing helps me see patterns, and refine my own thinking. I think this is the method They know will help me find my direction and path. I wouldn't be sad if writing wasn't just a means to that end. I like writing, I like being heard and known. So if I am the only one coming to know and understand myself, that would be worth it in the end. But if others benefited from my writing, and my writing were to even be part of my "meaning, purpose and direction", that would be a very good thing, too. Writing, alone as a profession, seems a little too isolating for me. I enjoy meaningful interactions.

Method for Finding Direction: I have recently read in 2 different places this same idea, and I don't think it is a coincidence. So this is the method I am using for deciding on my direction. The idea is that we can find our "purpose" by examining the intersection of these 3 things:

        1. Our strengths, gifts and talents

        2. Our struggles and challenges

        3. The needs of the world around us

Ultimately, I believe that everyone's "purpose" is to show each other God's love and help each other along our individual paths back to God and become our best selves. But the manner in which everyone fulfills that purpose looks different.  The details vary from person to person based on their strengths and challenges. So I am using my writing to examine my strengths and challenges, and to find that intersection with the needs of the world I am in. My "world" is my family, friends and community. 

Art as Creation, Meditation, Source of Pure Joy: Since the Covid-19 quarantine began in March, I have returned to creating art. I see an intersection of the love I have for meditation, the strength I have in visual arts, and the undeniable connections in many world religions. Color theory and sacred geometry hold a palpable power in my soul. I want to learn more and find ALL of the connections. I cannot discount the role this plays in my life. My bachelor's degree is in Art Education. The logic points to an intersection of all of these things and I return to my original field of teaching art. Something to consider.