I have a dear friend who teaches 8th and 9th grade english. (She also reads my blog which helps keep me on my toes, grammar-wise and what-not). Yesterday she shared some students' essays with me... and seeing how hard they made me laugh, I thought I'd share them with you. Thank you, ahc, for this delicious blogging material! (Are my commas in the correct place?)
This week is "College Week" at our school. English classes have been expected to have students write essays on the topic "Imagine me. . . in college." They are supposed to write about where they would like to attend college, what they would like to study, what they think they will do for fun, etc. As you can only imagine, my 8th
and 9th graders produced some essays that put me in stitches.
Here's one of the finest:
"In the fall of 2009 I will be attending Georgia Tech in my home state of GEORGIA. I would wake up at 11:30, eat some chicken, then go to my first class (general education). I would sleep through class, then come home, take a nap, eat some more chicken, then go to zoology class. They I would go to the gym, then go to history, then go to my job (manager of KFC) and I would watch other people work for me. By
this time it should be around 3:30 and I'll get off work around 4:30-5:00. I'll go home and change, take a shower, and put on some clean clothes. Then I'll get my friends into my Enzo Ferrari, 4-door Porsche, and in my Cadillac Coupe Deville and we will go to the clubs. Then I'll come home, eat some more chicken (depending on who
alls there with me). I'll call my mom and dad to see how they're doing, go back to KFC, watch them work for me some more. Then, I'll go to bed, wake up and do it
again the next day."
My (ahc) comments:
1) Is your day longer than 24 hours?
2) Aren't you going to get tired of chicken?
3) How do you afford three luxury cars on your KFC manager salary?
4) Are your parents still going to be awake after you return from the clubs?
Other students had some interesting ideas of where they planned to study their chosen careers:
"I'm going to BYU to study to be a plumber."
"I picture myself at UNLV studying to be a micanic." [sic]
"Snow College is where I will learn to be a lawyer."
"After high school, I will go to Salt Lake University and I will study to become a lawyer." (Where's Salt Lake University?)
"I will go to either BYU, the University of Alabama, Yale or Harvard to become a bounty hunter."
"I plan to go to Harvard in Houston, Texas to study football."
. . . . and I've only read through a third of the papers. . .
9 comments:
LOL, okay, very funny. *grin*
My oldest son, once wrote a paper on how he wanted to be a Mexican when he grew up.
*rolling eyes*
humm I want to go to Harvard in Texas too!
Thanks for the laugh.
Now that I've finished reading all the essays I could add about a hundred more little "gems," but I'll just go with one:
"I would like to go to a university in Massachusetts like Harbor. I would like to go to Harbor because it's the best school in the United States and I would like a career in computers. I bet Harbor's classes are really hard, so I'll have to work hard in junior high and high school and from there on I'll have to work harder. . ."
Well, Harbor sounds like a great school! But, I hear it is in Houston, Texas, right?
Too funny. My favorite is going to Harvard to become a bounty hunter!
What is so funny? My friend went to Harbor and she is wicked smart!
Blech.....I was a Princeton...we hate Harbor. I do have to say that their bounty hunter program is better then ours.
These are priceless. If I were you I would give them essays just to read the crazy stuff they write.
I wish Mrs. C had been my 8th grade English teacher. She's a babe and really smart and the daughter of a gyrating firemonkey.
Just kidding, Sister H. No disrespect intended....
Emily, I know it's a bit late. . . and you'll probably never read this comment, but I'd never find you disrespectful!! :) I'm glad that you'd like to be in my class!
I don't really get this one, i'm sorry.
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