She has her very own room. We painted it last year, hung pictures and made it the little, pink paradise she has always wanted. Unfortunately she CANNOT keep it clean. Too many things and not enough ability/desire to keep them nice. Just too much stuff. Too many distractions. Besides all that, the neat-freak in me (yes, there is one...deep down) can't take it anymore!She left for school and I went to work. Inspired by bek (thank you!) I cleaned out e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g: clothes, toys, stuffed animals (more than you can imagine), bedding, arts and crafts, books. This gave me the opportunity to finally see the floor. Then I vacuumed. Such sweet satisfaction.
She came home from school and discovered the "change". She hardly had a reaction. I think it took time to settle in. Here's the deal: she can earn her things back one item at a time. The true beauty of the situation is that she is not allowed to look at the things - they are hidden away. If she forgets about them ... so be it. There are 3 ways she can earn them. (She had me write them down so she could post it in her room.)1. Finish homework without saying rude words, acting sassy and saying "I can't!"
2. Be "caught" being nice to brothers (helping them, playing with them).
3. Complete a special assignment (chore) given by mom, dad, or a babysitter.
So far she has earned back blue blankie, her pillow and Kimmie the pink poodle. Or as she put it: "Just the necessities first."
After I finish the mountain of laundry I discovered under the rubble, she will choose 7 outfits. I have veto power. Dress ups don't count. She won't have enough clothes IN her room to make a mess. I can't tell you how excited I am. I know this won't last forever... just like every other plan we've constructed to help her succeed...
...but today was a beautifully organized day. She was sweet, happy, obedient, respectful and kind to her brothers (mostly) - definitely better than average. And I'm not making up this up... as I put her to bed she said to me, "Can we keep it this way forever?" YES! A resounding YES!
22 comments:
What a brilliant idea! You should hire out as Super Nanny! Give us regular updates so we know how it is going. I will be curious to know what she remembers she owns and what she asks for next! Give her a hug of encouragement from her Mo.
Awesome job, Suzie. It was fun to hear you talk about it this morning on our run. Maybe you need to come do this to my office. How would I earn my stuff back? Keep me posted on how this experiment goes. :-)
I did this with our play room a little while back. I took 4 garbage bags of toys and all but 15 movies (5 for each kid) out to the garage. I haven't had any requests for them yet. Now if I can only figure out what to do with the elastics and hair clips.
Great idea. Good thing you are so creative. Keep us updated on how this goes.
I remember when you did her room, you posted the beautiful pink pictures.
I think that is a great idea. What a good Mom you are..
and by they way.. I beleive it. *Grin*
Suzie...
So I am NOT crazy. Other moms do this too, eh? I am glad that it is working in your house. I cannot even begin to tell you the change that has come to our house. She has been calm and happy. Bedtime is better (b/c we aren't either tripping over stuff or grumpy b/c her room was such a mess). She has played more and watched TV WAY less. She is being more creative too. Most of the toys are going to go to a friends "adoption fundraiser" garage sale. We had TOO MUCH STUFF and I didn't even realize it. It is very freeing. Now I am going to do it to my room!!
I am now going to borrow YOUR idea about not letting her see the stuff. That is great. She has already forgotten most of it anyway. I have been taking this as a chance to edit out the stuff we don't need. I feel like I have a whole new portion of my mind back.
We can write a book now....we can call it The Last Resort........
did i read marathonmommy somewhere? you go girl! i swear, i think you types have it much worse than we triathletes...
thanks for the visit, hope to read more about your blog (and parental techniques picked up from reliable Bek).
I think Dr. Phil refers to this as Comando Parenting.
My friend used this technique on her 10 year old son when he kept taking things from school or other peoples houses. She cried as she worked to clean out his room, because she would find more stuff that didn't belong to them. She won the battle and her child knew she was serious about not stealing.
Good for you. Keep at it!
Wait, Zook. All but 15 movies? How many did you take out, because we don't own all that many more than 15 kids' movies. Just curious.
I used to work for Hollywood, remember? We have 50 or so "screener" copies of blues clues and such. Anyone want them?
may i comment on the creative photos? very well doone. i wish i could have been tehre for that
You are my idol in so many ways. Is is wrong to worship you?...or at least the things you do? I'm with Abby Jean--I'm a Sarite. Tell me what to do next, leader.
I'm impressed that the first things she wanted back were her pillow and blanket--that's kind of the responsible thing to ask for, being that she's 7 and all...she could have asked for a toy first! So you know she's not beyond all reason.
This is great. What a FANTASTIC idea!! I may need to try this on hubby's home "office".
First I am WAY older than anyone who is commenting. That said, way back in the day when my 5 little darlings were tadpoles, I decided that I was the mom, and with that I got POWER!
You ladies GO! BE THE MOM! This is an awesome idea. Although I never did this exact plan, I had similar ones and the key was that I meant what I did and the offspring eventually figured out that I meant it. It was at that moment I became THE MOM!
Be consistant. Be firm. Be reasonable. And whatever you do, never argue with anyone who is not at least your same age.
Good luck Mommies! You can do it and yes, believe me, they will actually say thanks!
What's interesting is that even in the midst of having everything taken away, she still managed to pose for a picture!!
I'm telling you, I think she really likes being clutter-free! And I do too! This has me thinking about doing a garage sale soon and de-junking the rest of the house.
I think I should mention Waverly has ADHD and I'm beginning to see that maybe all of the added distractions and clutter in her room was genuinely bad for her. She has been noticeably more mellow since we did this. She wasn't even upset when she first saw everything was gone. She really DID ask if we could keep it that way. She is very motivated to earn things back, but it's not like she's begging or freaking out about things she's missing. I do wonder how long this will last...but so far it is working beautifully! Any more questions?
You are amazing. What a super idea! Our lives are so crazy...I bet this would help my troops as well.
I swear...running marathons, discipline/organizational plans...I'm just in awe.
Wow. Way to be a super, super mom. I love this idea! I don't even know which room to start in...the boys room? My room? The study? I want you to come clean my stuff out and see if I can remember any of it.
ummm...I'm doing this very thing to my entire house next week. Not Joking. I don't even want to earn the stuff back. It's either this, or start a fire.
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