Today was officially my first day of summer! After school got out last week we went camping... I know, I know... ME? CAMPING? Just wait. There are even pictures. It was actually very fun, thanks to the friends who held my hand every step of the way, and shared their food, accommodations and their fun boats. We were such "newbies", but they put up with us. Thanks Kelly and Nicole and everyone else!
But about today... I am simply seething about something that happened that I just have to vent about. I woke up feeling a mixture of anticipation and dread for the long summer days that lay ahead. I was determined to start the summer right, so I planned a day that included a trip to the library to pick up some summer reading material for the kids. Waverly and Henry have been chomping at the bit to get going on their school's summer reading program. They get a special lunch with the principal if they pass off all of their assigned reading. So I was more than happy to take them to the library this morning.
We went as soon as the library opened at 10 AM. I knew there would be fewer people there, which is just easier when I am trying to help 3 kids pick out books. Waverly, Henry and even Oscar quickly found several selections and sat down to start reading. I wheeled Alice in her stroller over to the internet access computers to check my email to confirm a play date at the park - our next activity on the docket. Alice was getting squirmy in her stroller. She chirped a few baby noises of discontent until I gave her my wallet to play with. I was on the computer for maybe a minute and a half. I logged off and saw that my 3 oldest were still sitting quietly in the children's section (a miracle!), so started looking through the books on a shelf marked "New Books". About 2 minutes into my browsing, along came the librarian lady who said, "Excuse me. I'm going to have to ask you to leave the library. We simply cannot have loud children in here." I could not have been more surprised by her "request". I turned and checked on the 3 oldest - still sitting and reading. I looked at Alice in her stroller - still chewing on my credit card and occasionally babbling. For the first time in my life I wondered if perhaps she had mistaken someone else's noisy kids for mine? Nope. We were the ONLY people in the library... except for four individuals using the internet. My genuinely surprised response was, "Are you serious? They're not making any noise!" She looked down at Alice and said, "When a baby is noisy it is polite to take them out so as not to disturb the other patrons." Alice just blinked at the pair of us with her big, brown eyes - not _ making _ a _ peep! I said, "Sometimes babies make noises. She is not crying or acting inconsolable. Are you asking me to take her out now?" "No, when she is making noises." How am I supposed to predict when my baby will "talk" inappropriately loud? I asked, "When am I supposed to bring my children to the library??" She assured me that I am welcome to bring my children to the library when they are well behaved. I wanted to shout, "LOOK, LADY! THIS IS AS GOOD AS THEY GET!". Let me reiterate here that they were being extremely well-behaved. She had a problem with my one-year-old making one-year-old noises! We continued to have a little "chat" about our disagreements regarding appropriate baby behavior in a public library. She was relentless, but I wouldn't back down. I thought she was out of her mind. She finally walked away. And I gathered my well-behaved children who were disappointed to be leaving so soon. As I stood at the checkout desk with my children's selections I was so angry I was shaking. How dare she! Does she have any idea what kind of negative experience this mom and her four book-loving children just experienced in their PUBLIC library? I feel it was so un-called for! I felt humiliated and embarrassed in front of my own children. Let me repeat: the only other people in the library were the 4 people checking their email and shopping online! (Not kidding about the shopping... I noticed one of them was at Target.com.) And my kids were being GOOD! Even Alice!
What should I do? What would YOU do?
20 comments:
Ughhhh! What a bummer. You MUST write a letter to the city library director (and send a copy to city hall/city manager). Please use the word "disenfranchised" in it -- public libraries need to allow everyone access. Heaven forbid you had a child (or you were an adult) who was disabled and made awkward, sometimes loud noises. I assume the librarian would kick them out too? Great to know that you can go to the library to access internet porn as long as you are quiet. . . sorry you had a bummer day. but a letter will make you feel better.
hope you had a fun birthday!!
You should contact the library, but I doubt anyone would believe you OR take your side. As a mom, I TOTALLY feel for you and am mad for you, but lots of people don't like kids and are just looking for a reason--like when that little girl got kicked off of an airplane a few years ago for crying. I'm soo sorry for you. Did you get her name? Use her name!!
Children's section...Children's summer reading program...Children (quietly, might I add) reading children's books...Was the LADY in the right section?!
Definitely talk to the department head, or director of the library...
They DO want kids to get EXCITED about READING?....Right?!!!!
Shocked! Appalled! We should form a sit in with little children. It is a public place and you weren't doing anything wrong. And in a family oriented town. I hope you got her name and you should call the person in charge of the library. And maybe write a letter to the editor.
That stinks!
I really am horrified by this. I was also at the library today with my 2 kids and my one year old thought it would be funny to unload the shelves of all the books within her reach faster than I could reload them. Fortunately I did not get chastised for this highly "inappropriate" behavior. Hmmm if we want children to grow up to love reading then libraries need to be places where childhood noises are accepted. I would be absolutely livid if I had endured what you endured. What an Indian Feather!!!!
I am delurking to tell you how ridiculous I think this is. I would have been FUMING! When they create a children's space at a library, to me, it means that is it kid friendly. I have a 6 month old, 4 year old, 5 year old, and 7 year old and I know we are not the most quiet visitors when we go to the library, but thank goodness we have not had a run in with librarian Cratchet (yet!).
I agree that you should write a letter. I don't think this is the norm.
I wish I had read this before talking to you tonight--I would have gone OFF about that lady! I would have been shaking with anger too, and I'm glad you didn't back down. (I would have totally cried.) It's true--no one will believe you or take your side, and that sucks. (It would be like telling a bagger that your grocery store experience was unsatisfactory.) I want to know what Amy would do--she's always good on the spot like that. I always stew about it and think of a million things to say after the fact...mean things, mostly.
i'm with everybody else. let someone know. she was absolutely in the wrong and will continue to act this way to others unless it's brought to her attention. there's nothing wrong with letting the library know that this is happening.
We ran into this blond chick at the Sherwood library and she was a child behavior nazi. Granted the kids were getting a bit hyped up, but libraries are no longer the bastion of silent learning they used to be. For crying out loud, the tapping of a bunch of computer keys is enough to be annoying if you are looking for total silence. I am not one for confrontation ( AT ALL) but that would've been one of them for me. Good for you for not backing down.
I would find out who the library director is. If it was the director, find her boss. Everyone has a boss. Then send them an email with a link to this blog post with a note about when you were at the library and who (or a description of the person) who inappropriately chastised you.
There is a librarian here that has a reputation for making parents cry. UGH.
I would have been shaking too and probably so irritated I would have plopped all the books down on the desk and left...but you handled it way better. I'm glad you still checked books out and even talked to her. I'm so sorry...it is a true gem for us when my kids behave like that so I would have been really really really upset.
You must go back everyday just to irritate her. Go during Alice's nap time when she can be really cranky and crying. Then make some comment to that lady(I don't know what yet but it will come to you). Maybe even have friends come with all their kids. I am mad for you.
Wow! I'm suprised to hear that. Maybe I should go to the libary with you next time and then I can run around the libary and talk really loud. So that I would be the loudest. ...anyway, I love Alice's little noise's.
Have you planted the tree?
I think a letter is highly appropriate...Our library is FAR from quiet, what do you expect in the summertime when all the kids are home from school? We should be helping our kids get excited about reading, if they can't go to the library until they are older than 4 what's the purpose of having a childrens section?
Keep us posted on what you decide to do...
That's it! I am gathering a posse of marathon mommies a.s.a.p. to come to your town and kick that librarian's trash. hee.
Seriously, I cannot believe this story. She wouldn't last 30 seconds in a library in Utah... she'd be kicking people out right and left.
Good for you for getting back in her face a little bit (even if you were a shakin' on the inside!)
That is truly appalling. I agree with everyone else that you should contact the library head and tell them about it. Did you get the library Nazi's name? You really have to complain about her!! Good for you for keeping your cool. I think I would have yelled loudly and probably been kicked out
I appreciate Abby's vote of confidence...I would definitely write a letter that I would send (or email) to the head of the library, to the city council board members, and then because I'm extra nasty, I'd make a copy for Nazi lady that I would HAND DELIVER to her with a sugar sweet explanation of how she is defeating the purpose of public libraries, creating a negative and anxiety ridden situation for patrons, and denying equal opportunity to ALL members of the community (including 1 year olds). I would finish with "I just thought you might want a copy of my thoughts that have been sent to...(fill in blank)." And be sure you take a couple of friends and all their children to deliver the letter.
I can't breathe I'm so worked up.
Oh yeah, I've been there and done that. Man that ticks me off so bad. I wrote a very meanish letter to the head of the library. I also put notes in the box of suggestions. I get so mad when people act like a library is not a place for children. Especially if they are well behaved. One time they got mad because my child was chewing gum. I guess that's a little more understandable but well behaved children asked to leave. . . I'm heated about it and it didn't even happen to me, well not today but it has. I actually asked a bunch of the women who also went to the library and found out that they too had had similar experiences. They eventually hired a new person to head that branch and a new children's librarian. It was soooo much better. Good luck. I don't recommend talking to anyone while too heated though.
Holy Cow! That would make me shake, too. How can they expect families to feel comfortable in public places? Our little "library" (if you want to even call it that) here in Mapleton, Utah has a librarian that intimidates me, as well. I feel my kids need to use whispering voices, if voicing at all, even when no one else is the the small, one room library. Today we were there, in fact, and she came to me and told me, "The books your children are looking at need to be put back on the shelf exactly where they found them." I knew that because she reminds me of that every visit. I'm scared to even let them touch a book, let alone pull it off the shelf and read it. We ended up just checking them all out, so that I didn't have to go back and "shelf" them myself? The librarian has been quite snide and tart at other times as well. But, it's not a real library. They call it the Family Literacy Center. (Get that? "Family"?) I should be grateful for what we have, though. I do wish we had a more "child friendly" librarian, though.
Definitely send a complaint to the department head!
I was thinking about a trip to the library today with my kids. This story just makes me want to enjoy the books we have at home. I think you should go back tomorrow and tell your kids they can act however they would like, but encourage them to run and yell and scream. Be sure to get Alice really worked up.
Post a Comment