Well, not "nothing". It's a big deal to me that I have to play "single mom" for a whole week. But before Zook left on business I had convinced myself I would have to put my children in foster care and check myself into a mental hospital before the week was over. It isn't like he hasn't been out of town before ... though I think 9 days straight is a record. It's just that he's never been out of town when we have 3 children and I'm 8 months pregnant and very close to tears at any given moment. The fact is, I haven't cried once since he's been gone! (You know I love and miss you, baby ... but tears aren't necessary to prove that!) The kids' have behaved better than average, and my friends and family have really stepped up to make sure I don't feel alone. He also gave me a very sweet blessing before he left and I've felt peace, comfort and protection ever since.
I've decided that I feel WAY more alone when Zook is working in his office until midnight than when he's actually out of town. Isn't that strange? When I know I don't have that tag-team partner nearby I actually manage to rise to the occasion without freaking out! Who knew? I'm beginning to realize that I work well under pressure or in crisis mode. (That's why I always saved my big school projects until the night before they were due. I wasn't procrastinating... I was strategizing. I swear I produce better work under pressure.) I thrive on deadlines. The problem with motherhood is that there aren't too many mandatory deadlines. Potty training comes to mind as a good example. By the way, have I mentioned that Oscar still refuses to use the potty regularly, but has become quite adept at changing his own pull-up? There is something seriously wrong with that. I'm waiting patiently for that magic light bulb to go off in his head that says: "Hey! Sitting in your own waste is GROSS! Use the bathroom already!!" As I've mentioned, it doesn't have the same affect on him when I just say it. Anyhoo... what were we talking about?...
So I'm doing alright. Tonight I took advantage of our rotating babysitting swap. We take turns every Friday night with 3 other families watching each others' kids so the other couples can go on a date. Instead of going on a date with Zook, I went to see Music and Lyrics with Nicole and a couple of friends from church. I'd give the movie a B- ... I didn't care whether or not the potential lovers ever really got together. But it was mindless and somewhat entertaining and THAT was the point. It was nice to not think about parenting for 2 whole hours. Before the movie I went to get my hair trimmed. After the movie I went and ate a humango slice of german chocolate cake with Nicole. All in all: a good night. The kids even behaved well for the sitters - Waverly included!! That's a huge bonus.
So tomorrow I plan on painting a bathroom ... maybe two. It's time to fix the post-hawaiian-vacation explosion of paint in the guest bathroom. I just can't stand it anymore. It shall soon be transformed into a soothing spot to rest your bum without hurting your eyes. And the kids' bathroom also deserves a fresh coat of paint before post-baby houseguests come. It just seems like the right thing to do.
Thank you for all of your comments, support and well-wishing on my last post. It really meant a lot to me to know I wasn't really all alone in my pregnancy-induced, stressed, and weapy state of mind. I'm sure those days are not over, but I'm grateful for the eye of the storm that I'm enjoying for the moment.
P.S. For crazy, anonymous stalkers out there who now know my husband is out of town... also please be informed that I have a knife under my pillow, a body guard in the guest room, a state-of-the-art security system that brings the police to my home in under 60 seconds AND a cop for a home teacher who will kick your you-know-what if you even THINK of coming near me. Thank you.
7 comments:
Yikes-- I definitely will not be stalking you!! I am glad you are in the eye of the storm at the moment! German chocolate and a play sound really good right now. I am glad you had a break!
I'm so glad that you are doing well. I wanted to comment on your last post, but I didn't know quite what to say to make you feel better. Just know that I have been thinking of you. If we lived closer I would come over and bring you lots of treats and keep you company. You are very brave to take care of 3 1/2 children by yourself. I hope that Zook showers you with extra love and attention when he gets home!
I'm glad you added the last part for potential stalkers....I'm sure that will help. You're painting bathrooms at 8 months???? Is this a nesting thing? I think I will miss the wild bathroom but tranquil it good, too!
When Matt goes out of town, I work myself up to a frenzie. Then when he actually leaves, it isn't half as bad as I thought it would be. So, maybe getting yourself all worked up is a good thing?? Plus, for 9 days you don't have to worry about having dinner on the table for your cute hubby, and you just make mac and cheese, or whatever the kids like. That part is nice!
I have some friends with husbands in Iraq, and they have said that they settle into such a nice little rhythm that when the husbands come back, they're almost a nuisance. But I know that's probably just a myth to make people feel better that have to cope without their husbands. :)
You know, chances are an intruder--if violent in nature--will most likely use that knife on you before you ever get to it...especially now that he/she knows where you've hidden it. You should replace it with a touch-sensitive tazor of some sort...am I sounding like Dwight suddenly? Question: what color will you paint the bathrooms?
p.s. I totally know what you mean about rising to the occaision...when James is there I totally relinquish my willpower. I even ask him to hand me the remote and stuff like that. And then I think to myself, "what do I do all day when he's not here? who carries the groceries upstairs all by herself?" Geez, I do just fine without him--not that I enjoy it or anything.
Darn.
I so wanted to be a stalker.
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